The steps i took.

2011-03-14T01:47:00.002+08:00

i wasnt sure why am i writing again.
but one thing for sure my life is torn apart.
i need to eat my own feelings up. =)

2011-02-20T01:00:00.002+08:00

MY BLOGG IS DEAD ONCE AGAIN.

i've been such a lazy bumb and i've been such a emo freak.
idk what to blog anymore cause there too much to say but better left unsaid.
life is a knife that kills me slowly.

maybe just maybe if life isnt this bad and my heart didnt have a scar i'll be one of those girls whos always smiling.
i've no more reason to smile,mayb a fake smile will do.but nahh.. hmm..
should i just say my life is meaningless.

empty, lonely.

2010-11-09T20:52:00.002+08:00

Dear diary, i knw i've been MIA-ing for a very long time. Im almost done with my olevel papers. And hell yeahh imm missing so much fun plus i miss my girlfriends. I wanna hangout, gossip and get drunk with them!
Life isnt going on well cause its very dull... I miss having fun.
Lately ive been thinking so hard what am i gonna do now, after this i'll not meet you again eventhough we stay near each other but what if you completely forget about me when we graduate.
Its not fair . I wanna spent much more times with you and laugh about stupid things and mistake but nahh now no more whats with another 3 days which im left okay if i were to add up chalet n grad nite that will be another six days, den what happens after that?
I wonder will you still remember me an all the stupid jokes we laughed at.
Common i know i wont be that affected but sadly i am!
Sadly, i'll remember everything for life.
Maybe you dont knw how much you mean in my life but yeahhh you mean.
You never fail to make me laugh.
Im gonna go a distance
From u now cause it will eventually gone one day. I pray for the best for you.
If only its from the start. I never will be this way.
I'll miss you i promise.

2010-09-09T00:27:00.004+08:00

Its been so damn long ever since i updated this blog of mine...
over that period of time so many things changed.too many stories to tell.
i dont know where to start.
well. lifes harder now.i wonder how much longer still i cn cope..
i miss the past when everythings the same and no one changed.
mayb everything just happens.
nothing can be done....
its hard to say but its harder to keep it in heart.
i wish i have someone to talk to..
and yes i deactivated my facebook account ,reason being no use cause its just so disheartening now a day.
i miss my friends.i miss bestfriends.
well i gotta pass that, cause i bet they DONT feel what i feel.
lets just hope time pass faster..
too bad for me.
i'll never forget any moments i spent with every each of them.
lifes unfair but nothing cn be done.

~there're better even without me.

love life, greatt....
i never wish for anything more den what i have now.
love, have been always the person who stayed with me no matter what.
he will always be there whenever i needed someone to talk to,but its not the same cause somethings cant be shared like we share seeetupidd jokes,gossips,enemies,take funny pictures and even we caant share panties.its just not the same though...
well whatever it is love is always there.even at this point of time when his with his friends he still text me, like a sentence without any fullstops .

~Things just arent the same noww....

2010-07-09T21:33:00.003+08:00

A day out with bestfriends.

No matter where we are, no matter how are we seperated and no matter how busy we are we'll always be bestfriends because i love you both so much.=)

2010-06-25T23:02:00.003+08:00

someday i'll wear it.

my mother asked me,at what age am i going to get married.

i said 27.

mother said wont that be too old, why not at 21.

i said guys are all the same,if they are willing to waitt for me till that age den he'll be the person that i'll spent the rest of my life with.

my mother said lets see.

well see i just dont understand.whats the use of getting married at a young age.

2010-06-25T22:57:00.004+08:00

what a day.
bitch i freaking hate you!
i feel like giving up cause it hurts.i know i should not feel this wayy but you bloody bitch make me feel this way!
irritating uhh..sakit bodohh hati!~
its like hello da OVER kanns.MOVE ON LA.!
free free pe.kau pikehh jambu mane kau.gatal! miang!
waitt just waitt.when its time i'll meet you face to face.dont try me.you dont know what im capable of dear.

BINGETTTTT!

2010-06-23T21:51:00.002+08:00

we were once so strong.

It isnt fair,i'm like the wall that blocking you from seeing her.i'm the one whos stoping you from everything.its unfair i know.i tot it will work somehow but my heart seems to say no,cause ....my feelings never change but i felt something.and i dont want it to happen so thats why i'm doing this.mayb just mayb its time.being with you is the most happiest moments of my life..when my friends,family,bestfriend was not there you're there you became my friend,family,bestfriend.the waitings was hurtful but its more hurtful when thing doesnt work out as it should be.mayb i'm being emotional but its true.i dont wish to be selffish.sacrifice.i'm sorry for now i guess you need to know that ive tried my best to be the best but i cant,ive tired,yes buut i just cant.i cant go on this way.you're being the best...and you deserve better,i'm sorry if what im gonna do will hurt you,dont worry it will hurt me more.i dont wanna make the same mistake anymore so i'm doing this.its hard but i need to.i dont wish to make you angry/sad/hurt.i'm just a normal human being.

i'm sorry.i'll always be there for you like i used to and we will still be like usuall,i promise.

~mungkin hari ini yg terakhir dan tiada hari esok.

2010-06-21T22:51:00.002+08:00

hell yeahh! i'm madd.

you said i've not moved on when the fact is i've moved on so so far.

please la if i've not moved on i'll never be with you.

wait,shows alot you dont know me well enough.wth!

sad.but nevermind .things happens for a reason.

infact did you know that you're the main source of energy power i have.

i loove you!

2010-06-20T03:29:00.003+08:00

i post this picture because its cool and it reminds me of my girlfriends thats vv close to me.
farhana,huda,umira,safirah,fira.
i miss them muchh, i swear.

their the best people to hangout and get drunk withh i swear..i simply just love them so muchh!

2010-06-20T03:14:00.002+08:00

okay,life isnt easy and that goes too love.
but he came and make everything easier.maybe i'm just lucky and its just my luck..but i thank god for all this.mayb i used to felt love but i never learn anything frm it now with him in my life...i know everything will be okay,alright.
i dont know what to call this feelings of mine but i know its not for long.cause we're both like earth and the sky.
yes i looked forward for every meeting with you.i'll smile and my heart jumps.
mayb its true i fall to deeply inlove.i dont wish you to go ever cause ive been waiting to be with you ever since camp.once upon a time ago.
mayb just mayb i didnt fall for you and we're never in the same class all this will never happen.
things happen for a reason.you came pulling me out from the hole that i fall over and over again.i swear i dont really shed my tears now a days maybe because you never fail to make me smile.
sacrifice.
dont do that i dont want.be happy..
i'll always be here to support you in whatever you do.i promise.cause you've always been there for me in times i need you the most.and i thank you for that so much..
maybe just maybe.
once i tot we can only be friends but now we're more den friends i just wish that it will remain this way.i hope,but if not i'll not be sad cause i get to know a great person like you.
you're my boyfriend,you're my friend,you're my bestfriend,you're the person who always been there to takecare,love and understand me..thank you so muchh.
i really appreciate it all dear.

2010-05-25T23:09:00.001+08:00

bananas in sch uniforms.
Hees and that will be me nn huda sygg..!
huda no more cryingg okayy.smile pls.
Takkde pape jadi la.
Farahh ade selalu.!
Sygg kauu for lufe..akuu takk backstabb kauu akuu cume frontstabb kauu..blehh kns.hees.

2010-05-25T23:06:00.001+08:00

i'm officially urs!
Well things happens so fast.infact it was so sudden...serious.hmm.the waitings are worth it i guess.hees. Hmm.well i hope it will last. Pls preetty pls.i love u so muchh my dear.dont askk me whyy cause u are and always have been my dream.=)

2010-05-12T23:06:00.004+08:00

i miss those times, i swear i do.

2010-05-12T23:04:00.001+08:00

i frog-gott!
11th may.
kak jia turns seventeennn!
da tue kann.but no matter what happens i'll still love you as much .
hees. sayanggg kau! =)

2010-05-12T22:53:00.003+08:00

things happened for a reason.for the past few days life have been great!

i like.infact. its so much better.

today . i went out with raden dandiar accompanied him to woodlands to meet acap to buy his shoe.

so yeahh out around 12 plus reached woodlands around 1 plus.hmm...

den bought the shoe.after that off we go.

smoke machine,not me them.lols.

denn slack around at around 4 we went off reached home at 510.

out for dinner with parents.

i ate 3 pratas and two cans of green tea.

homed.

everything i consumed went out in the toilet bowl.

lols.

now waiting ....waiting...

~you changed my whole life,its much better.i hope this wont end.=)

2010-05-12T20:23:00.005+08:00

sitting alone wondering is it a sin to fall in love?

in the name of love i've already given my heart to only you ,i'll be sincere and loyal to you.i promise.i'll lock my heart for u.no matter how hard things will be i'll love you endlessly.you change my whole life..thankyou.

i thank Allah for all this.

2010-05-05T19:14:00.003+08:00

i miss spending time with bestfriends(erniyanti & faizul) and sisters. ='(

2010-05-05T19:10:00.002+08:00

i'll stop loving you when the sea water stops to run.

2010-05-05T19:04:00.003+08:00

wait yesterday was 'fun'!

i finished school.
took 99 one round.
meet raden,raden and acap followed by the rest who came later.
yeahh cool.while playing takraw rain.
seek for shelter.
play ball under void deck.
after that off home.
they left us.
they to be specific susy,irfan,zuhri,syaril and raden (i forgot the behind name).
so ya.
i and raden took 242.
and chase 99 bus.wth!
my heart can come out sia.he run so fast.!omg.
dropped at 157 bustop den rrun to the next stop.cb.lols.
penat like hell.sedihh oi kene lari da la bag heavy!

hees.

2010-05-05T19:01:00.001+08:00

i asked you to bring me to see the world, you said yes so i'm still waiting for that very day.

2010-05-05T18:34:00.002+08:00

Blog saya suda hidup semula and taggboard da ade!!

BASICALLY i'm having my mid year exam NOW.
papers are not manageable,wth!
hmm..idk what to say.
just let fate decide.

okayy just now i finished paper early as early as 915,so proceed to macD at J.P
with umira and farhana.
coolness.
we talked and laugh.
and yeahh i like!
okayy after that walked farhana till traffic light thenn umira's bustop.
while walking to umira's bustop i was having conversation about ~~~~~
hees.

and i'm gonna ask this since its so hard for me to define necleon during chemistry paper just now!

DEFINE THE WORD 'CURANG'.
OR
DEFINE THE WORD 'BITCH'.

2010-04-11T17:47:00.000+08:00

mane tagboard saya?
hilang..adoi!
create it soon uh..gotta run.!byes.

2010-04-11T17:38:00.004+08:00

well hows my eyebrown?like it?
i dont.lols.
wait its not even for real.hees.
well some people just tend to read others post and will like comment somthing on it.well..i guess thats so not cool.cause i dont think i start any..fight with them?hmm..nahh idk think so.well what to do people are just people.
and hmm...ORG YANG TAK CUKOP KASIH SAYANG ALL DO THIS LA.
no respect to others.hmm...manners?takde ke?ooppss..
full of shits.
nahh i'm not fanatic.but those post are not meant for you.so why bother.and moreover its my blog..why SO KPO.?
hmmm ..takde blog sendiri ke?aww...ciann dier.
well express youself on your own blogg ka sayangs.
well my sisters know what i'm trying to say.so fuck off aites.love ya..=)
just that i pity you people who dont seems to have life.
dont like me?why not come face to face.
i takde hal nan you nape nakk cam ni?
i dont understand.

2010-04-10T21:31:00.001+08:00

just so you know.

2010-04-10T21:28:00.002+08:00

went to uncle's place,he went for his operation/surgery a few days ago..so me,mom,dad and bibik went to visit him.well he's okayy just that he complains that it hurts.i wonder how it felt like..confirmm very painn..oucchh..
well i hope uncle will get better soon.and i hope he will rest well !
i love you uncle!=)

2010-04-10T21:25:00.001+08:00

thanks to you,raden dandiar for helping me todayy.
though i know its a very last min thing and i'm so sorry if i were to bother you.hees.
thanks again.=)

2010-04-09T21:02:00.003+08:00

well bitch!
you're such a bitch sia minahh!
takkda hall mau carik hal. i never cari gadohh sia..dont ahh like this..nakk fight depandepann ahh baby!
takot ?kecot?what is this?come on la..you're such a bitch!ooppps!
terase ke?sorry bitchh..takkya nakk jln depann aku la..nak mutahh i.
mauu cari pasall?come!
i no hall sehh with you ,you like this.you ahh..another one..cari pasal?! suke. and btw aku takk sad always la bitchh.justt that ..hmm wait blog aku aku nyer say la.!
haiz..minahh minahh zaman sekarangg kan macam siall! takk diajar orgg !ishh~! kesiann ahh lu!
good luckk ahh girll.oopppss.fanatic nye aku..
mauu carii pasall.!wth! nakk gadohh btollbtol ahh. come ahh face to facee kayy SAYANG~!
daily reader ku! =)
sorry..aku nari sort ahh nan tuh bitch so excuse my post aites people..
farah good girl.

2010-04-05T22:31:00.002+08:00

beach cleaning was super fun! camwhored!

coolneess.check out the pictures at fb.hees.

i freaking love today!

and love,thanks .....

nothing can ever express how i felt.

fira,farhana,safirah,salihin,syafiq and syaril really make my day!hees.

and too babyy elephant terima kasihh belanje saya mkn pat burger kingg and topping up my ezlinkk...hees.nnt kite bayar awak balikk kk.

tapii takya la since awak belanje kans.hees.

happy life i have.!

2010-04-05T22:25:00.004+08:00

another happy ending.

thanks for showing me love,care and concern.

people who is insecure will tend to do shits and stupid things.

to my dearest SITI NURULHUDA ISMAIL.

its a good thing that you've moved on so far and KESIAN people yang ketinggalan zaman..oooppsss!hees.

I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU HUDA.hees.sisters for life kater kans.ahahs.tapi tak mau jadi two headed snake kan huda.

you're so strong..and i'll pray for nanny aites.

alhamdulillah that she went thru the operation safely.i hope to see her again.

and for you pegyy school la i fucking miss you i bet they misses you too!=)

btw i guess this is only the beginning of the new chapter.

hees.

2010-04-04T21:43:00.003+08:00

my dearest babyy elephant i miss you.

if you know i guess you'll come running and knocking my door and hugging me up till the sky.

aku rindu kamu,baby...

2010-04-04T21:41:00.000+08:00

i love you and i'm really sorry.

things just happen it happen without me knowing.='(

2010-04-04T21:35:00.003+08:00

visited nanny just now.

Nanny,i'll pray for you safety.operation 5 hours.?lame sehh.oucchh.

da'da stay strong aites baby..nanny's gonna b alrite.

nanny kan strong..so you stay strong okayyy everything will be okayy.

lets pray together for her safety...

nanny i love you and i'll pray for your safety untill your seriously healthy.

2010-04-03T22:04:00.004+08:00

aww,btw i'm so touched la kans.that tak perlu people eventually read my blog.wow..

and get this in your HEAD, say whatever you want cause i dont care.call me a bitch and slut.

i dont care but at least i know AKU TAKDE HAL SAMA awak.

so sorry la kalau anyone terase.hmm.FARAH GOODGIRL OKAY .=)

KALAU NAK JADI BITCH TOLONG JADI BITCH YG ADE BRAINS.KAY!

peace.i'm out!

sayang krg.

2010-04-03T21:25:00.004+08:00

you're the best that i ever have.

you are my sunshine.you make me happy always.you never know how much i love you.

just so you know that you're everything that i ever wanted.

i want nobody but only you,can?

but will you always be there when i need you.?

thanks for the days that was spent together.

2010-04-03T21:09:00.003+08:00

smile baby smile.

love.laugh.joy.tears.angry.crazy.funny.

all in one.

yesterday was superr great day with great people.

but super cool .

played kite.wind so strongg..the sun was really just on top of us..superr hot.

kites was soo beautiful.sky was beautiful...too many things.

i just simply love the people who i went out with..well indeed its a good friday wait an awesome friday..hees.

okayy.pictures will sooon be uploaded in fb.hees.

syafiq,syaril,khai,me,fira and haru!yeay!

all in all great-ness!

prettypretty day!

2010-04-02T23:19:00.003+08:00

kantoi!

la i'm so scared.

BTW WE'RE IN SINGAPORE NOT US KANS.

So talk like singaporeans dont open it all okayyy.!

hees love ya.

2010-04-01T16:49:00.004+08:00

dear heart,i'm sorry i've been hard on you.

i'm sorry for the things ive put u through....before you stopped.

i need to let you see i'm sure its been long enough..the only way to learn is to let it burned.you're my strength..heart,i promise all the hurt will soon be gone if you just hang on for a little longer.

heart i'm running away.so hang on okayy.

the pain will soon be gone.

2010-04-01T16:47:00.000+08:00

once a bitch always a bitch,once a slut always a slut.

2010-04-01T16:38:00.003+08:00

i'm never gonna look into your eyes.i dont wish to see it even if its for the last time.

maybe keeping a secret from us is the only good thing you can do but in the end i found out!

omg,maybe its nothing.but who am i? a stranger?

whats with both of you?

i'm completely lost now.

idk what to say,believe or even do.

i'm speechless when i heard the news.

wow.

heart? are you sick? will you be okay?what did they say?that room.

i'm terrified.

sometimes its better to keep it in silent.

eventhough it hurts so bad i'll keep in silent..shhh.

i wont tell anyone,i promise.

i'll pretend no one told me.

no need to ask,i'm okayy.

~SECRETS.

2010-03-30T22:12:00.002+08:00

APA ERTINYA CINTA TANPAMU.

2010-03-30T21:29:00.002+08:00

mengapa yang lain bisa mendua dengan mudahnya?

you're sweet as sweet as sugar.i liked you,do you like me?

you're so unpredictable.

you're just the person i'm looking for.

i forgot to spell my name but i never forgot to spell yours .i wonder....

kau begitu sempurna.

2010-03-29T22:39:00.005+08:00

IF ONLY I HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE.

dont need to call or text me let me think what should i do next..i wont bother you anymore.

what the use of ur tears farah?thing happen.

everything happen with no planning.i had enough.its stupid.i hate it...when will it end?

i just want to smile widely without crying. nobody understands my heart cause i never opened it for anyone,now.

i'm sorry.

i wasnt thinking,i'm so sorry baby.

terperangkap ditengah.

2010-03-27T14:04:00.003+08:00

you dont know how it felt.

jikalau engkau tak boleh tunai kan janjimu katakn sahaja aku tak kisah.

never make empty promises.

maybe the truth may hurts but you lies kills me deep down.

whats the use of me hanging on when i tried understanding and you didnt.no point of apologizing i dont need it.enough...i'm not gonna say anything just see what will happen soon okay.

i dont wish to be the broken hearted girl.

your everything i thought you never were,the times that you hurt me and put tears on my face.

even now i hate you it pains me to say goodbye.

i dont wanna love you in anykind of ways.cause i'm not ready for another broken heart.i'm not gonna risk my heart again.no more.i hate you.just go please...i'm gonna be just fine.i dont need explaination..

shouldn't ever let you in.

2010-03-27T13:49:00.001+08:00

jealousy struck!

2010-03-27T13:37:00.003+08:00

school was great yesterday with fira,farhana,irfan,zuhri and raden.

it was super funn..i swear.farhana,me n fira is like fighting over that someone and yeah ofcause he like very suke la kns.ahahs.and yes irfan and zuhri forever with their funny conversation.and ya they will not talk for 2 mnths starting on monday.ahahs.confirm tak menjadi wan..lols.

ahahs.overall i like it.

and thanks for the night chat.its been long ever since we chatted that long.lols.=)

okayy i guess thats all.no need to know the rest.!=)

ouhya.raden dare me to put this on my blog.

~RADEN SAID THAT HE "LOVES" ME DURING FREE PERIOD.

hahahs.stupid.!

2010-03-27T13:08:00.003+08:00

RADEN.

to this person.whos always been there for me when i cryy and when i needed someone to be there when i broke off with my ex and he have always been there no matter what.he is celebrating his sixteenth birthday todayy.hees.well i hope you have a pleasent day and i hope you'll always be happyy....and suceed in everything you do.so yeahh.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU ALWAYS.!=)

SYAFIQ.

this guy lols.his great,his fin to be with..his jokes.eveything about him...i like.hahas.wait as a friend la.hmm.well he celebrated his sixteenth birthdayy yesterdayy.wow!

yeahh and i wish him all the best in life.i love talking to you fiq!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNNY MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU ALWAYS.!=)

2010-03-27T13:03:00.002+08:00

i'm gonna Break your heart.

happy,get it?this is what you want right. so you'll get it.

thanks for every empty promises.

i'm done here.

2010-03-25T17:05:00.003+08:00

I DONT TRUST YOU ANYMORE ,THATS WHY!

2010-03-25T11:11:00.003+08:00

GETTING READY FOR NOTHING.

2010-03-24T21:17:00.004+08:00

hot!

sick.and i got 2 days mc.i'm still considering if i should attend school tmrw.hmm..i miss my partner uhh!hees.

okayy well i remembered those times when i was sick..you'll ensure i'm seriously well and everything was so easy back then but now..huhu. ='(

so sad now.

2010-03-24T20:38:00.002+08:00

one thing.

GOODBYE FOREVER.

i'll never turn back and look. ='(

2010-03-23T20:40:00.002+08:00

i dont feel any better but i'm feeling insecure now.i dont know how long will this last but i hope it will last soon. cause i'm sick and tired of all this shits!

damn you.i hate you for who you are now.nothing will be the same now.

we will see how it turns out to be.mayb just mayb it will be okay..but ..i dont know la.

how long will this last? it felt different now.i'm sorry.

i cant...i dont know.things just goes wrong when happiness starts to take place.

i tried my best.but things just falls apart.

no pls.i'm not even ready.its just the starting of the game pls.dont say its game over.

but give me more time.pls....

2010-03-21T21:06:00.003+08:00

how i wish i can stop the time.make it slower..

cause i've not have enough time spent with you.

can i remind you once more that i cant survive without you.the only thing i'm still standing stablely on the ground is you.even if you're far as long as i know you're still surviving on this earth i'll be find.

i know we used to hold on to those vows that we've once made but now no more..

i know how hard this will be.but its us who choose to leave this life now.

regret?no more.

even if its hard we need to try.

i know the vows that we've made once was broken.promises are broken.

i have nothing else to say.but to cry in silents if i miss you.it hurts i swear.

but mayb someday we'll get over it.

and thanks for helping me forget you.

yes i'm taking my steps to move on but i'm taking small steps cause i still wanna remember you as part of my life..

i tried forgetting you but when i remember you i'm torn into pieces again.

i'm barely hanging on.

things happen for a reason.

we was given time but we waste it so now we're alone and our hope is gone.
now we have our own life and we have to go on with it no matter how hard it will be.

2010-03-20T23:50:00.002+08:00

lets learn to understand and share problems.

2010-03-20T23:44:00.003+08:00

remember how it feels like when you're heart was broken.

i bet you dont,cause you dont HAVE A HEART am i right..

oooppsss so sorry if terase.

2010-03-19T20:42:00.001+08:00

"andai sahaja aku ada kesempatan kedua".

2010-03-19T20:37:00.002+08:00

well.yesterday i roamed singapore with parents and brother..hmm.

yes shopping!lols.

so todayy i went to meet baby for awhile slacked and off home waited for papa nn went jurong point mama wanna get her iphone.cbcbcb!lols.

so after that ate at makan shiok.

den ltr at 9pm wann off malaysia!

hmm..kampong.!aahs.

i'll be home by dawn.so baby ku,khairul anwar!

pls ehkk BEHAVE BODOH!

well did i sayy that today is my anniversary with that baceenn!?

hees. fourth month.huhu..so yeahh tmrrw out with him.

and idk wht to wear.i'm banned to wear shorts!wth!'so mayb i'm wearing jeans and tshirt or maybe impress baby i lil by wear that yellow dress.okayy.idkk.see la how..soo i guess thats all.

hmmm...

i miss sisters.faizul.bestfriend.

2010-03-17T12:06:00.002+08:00

aku cemburu~

HATIMU TELAH DICURI DIA.

TERBAKAR HATIKU.

~Only you who knows my feelings now.

2010-03-16T00:02:00.001+08:00

ini saya yg punya!

babyy ily!

2010-03-15T23:43:00.004+08:00

baby! i love you..

congrats for getting second place..hees..despite the stupid microphone!

you did well baby!

loveyou a million time!

i saw your tense face,you look super cute.

and u sweat like piggy baby!hees.

well overall you did well eventhough i know thts not ur best!cause i know u have better things to do knss.pls la.hees.

loveyou baby!

biler kau nk kol aku biee?

andand fira,haru thanks a million !

mak,bapak,aunts n kakak thanks for making me feel like family..thanks alot.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

babybabybabyy! di mana kamu?

bile nk kolll!

sweet dreams people.have a beautiful nightmare!

khairulanwar aku sayang kau bodoh!

2010-03-14T19:03:00.001+08:00

i miss you dearly.

can't hide but to cry myself.

mayb i can lie to everyone but i know i cant lie to myself.i cant.i cant.

the pain.memories.YOU.

slowly time will heal everything, i hope.

i spent too much time hoping UNTIL IM LEFT WITH NOTHING ELSE TO HOPE.

it's not life isnt fair just that i'm too STUPID giving you my hole heart when i was with you.

thats why EVERYTHING ENDED UP in a mess.cause i was once caught up in the mess that you made.

2010-03-14T18:57:00.001+08:00

They say, 'Time heals all wounds.' If that is true, then I guess mine go deeper than pain. There are no words to choose over losing you. I guess I found out too late, and now all I feel is heartbreak that only hurts when I breathe.

2010-03-12T21:55:00.000+08:00

cause i dont wanna fight no more.

2010-03-12T21:50:00.002+08:00

i wannna naikk flyerrrs badllyyy butt too badd daddy n mummy is always NEVER available to do that with me. =(

aku feel so dinasour! tk naiknaikk tuhh binatangg.haiz..

so sad. i hope someday i'll get a chance to ride on the flyerrsss!

2010-03-12T20:52:00.003+08:00

thts all i can say now.

things just happened..

i dont know whyy..

sumpahh aku regret.

i love you.

Now then i realise that i was wrong all this while.if thats not the then why must i have this feelings?

if thts not the fact then why must i miss you.

i always whisper to myself that its better to be alone.

but thenn im not suure anymore.

after just now incident.i just dont know anymore.what am i suppose to feel now?

i just wanna be numb i dont wish to feel a thing.i swear i regreted.

i'm sorry.

just so you know i need you to bring me back to reality.cause nobody else is there to do it you're already here so i wan you to guide me .

i'm wasting my own time creating all this shits.cause i've taken up almost half of my teenage yrs just for crying and heartbroken but noww i wanna feel happy.now i already have that chance i wont let it go..i'll treasure it.i dont wann mess everythingg.

but i just did.

i'm sorry.

i know u know that i'm sorry.i never meant for all this to happen.

i pray to god that you'll forgive me somehow..

i'm sorry i never meant to hurt you if theres anytghing to make it up to u i will do anythingg.

as long as you forgive me.i dont wann u to forget that u mean everything to me.

i wonder how my world will be whn you're gone......

never cry infront of the person who loves you cause he will eventually feel sad too.

I'm stronger then i thght i was.and big girls never cryy..

fairytale?nahh its a beautiful reality with you baby.

~for a moment i thought you're gonna let me go but you didnt,you gave me another chance.

2010-03-11T21:58:00.002+08:00

someone.

tell me something i dont know.

thanks for still caring.how did you know how i felt.?

somehow...things are complicated now.

you're like no other baby.

i neevr have someone who knows me like you do.

2010-03-10T20:24:00.002+08:00

Sometimes things happen for a reason.

somehow.what she say is true.butt i dont think soo..cause i choose to be in a relationshipp soo it means that im ready to move on and no more looking backk.

whats there to worry about i have a boyfriend who love and care for me..

soo theres no need to look back.

things didnt turn out well cause u came backk but im gonna prove to everyone that i've really moved on.yes at times i feel like turning backk butt nahh.i CANT!

hmm...sooo see me running fromm realityy okayy.

i only love one personn!

KHAIRUL ANWAR!

2010-03-10T20:23:00.001+08:00

i'm soo missing boyfriend now! haiz.

everyone is gone.

and yess i colouredd abg kimmy's hairr..hees.he love it i love it ttooo!

babyy.i miss you like maddd.!

2010-03-10T16:12:00.007+08:00

How is wish you were still mine.
its okay if nobdy know what i felt because i only need you to know that.

i'm fine ,dont worry.

2010-03-07T21:48:00.000+08:00

"i miss you".

2010-03-07T21:25:00.002+08:00

if only u could understand what i wantt that time maybe i wont feel this wayy now cause of letting u go,love never can be predicted ,the pathh is so cofusing cause once hurt for sure that love will fade and become hate.is it a waste?idkk..will all this change,or my feelings will remain the same for you like it used to?

no i cantt all thiss must stop.cause when you're not there..someone else came into my life and i didnt believe that he came..he make all the painn that you've cause gone.

i'm happy with him around..

i like himm but i'm not sure if i love him.

he once was her's.but is it wrong for me when i feelings towards him now?

but when you came around again...i cant.but dont worry i'll make it without you.

did you ever felt all the feelings that i've tried to let go?i tried so hard.

i'm done here cause i'm happy now.

2010-03-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

i rottt at home todayy!

2010-03-07T13:13:00.004+08:00

as predicted i manage to cryy and my heart feelss soo damnn idkk.painn.

hmm its like getting stabbed by a knife i guess.

well i stayed up last night like a patheticc morron pouring all th tears that i have!

thanks.and i onlyy get my sleep at 4 plus am almostt 5.and i woke upp at 647am.wtf!

and write in my diaryy while listening to songs and got ready at 8.wthh?its like supper idiotic sia.!

my bboodyy are achingg.and my headd is in pain!

wth!wtf! suchh a bitch!

and whyy iss everyyone asking me to lepakk?!

and idkk hu to lepakk withh alsoo now..dilemma!wthh.

why must things be so complicated?

hmmm.i'm feeling half hearted to do anything noww..idk whyy.

i justt whichh i could press delete button and everything will be erased and how i wish i cann press on a backspace button so that i dont have too know u and i just wishh that i cann just shutdownn all system in my bodyy cause i'm tired.

btw i was browsingg my song list and i found the not so old song..and i cried to the lyrics of the song.

~4 in the morning by gwen stefani.

word are just words dont u think so?prove me wrong if u can.

2010-03-06T22:41:00.000+08:00

aku sedihhh!

2010-03-06T22:35:00.002+08:00

texted u.wished u.i'm happy that you've moved on.

i saw u that dayy.the only thing i did was cryy.im speechless.

goodbye.

make the pain go away .

2010-03-06T22:21:00.002+08:00

its always my fault not urs kn?

semue i do all kene bring it upp.

semue u do wanna settle things fast.great kns?hmm..
haiz..

2010-03-06T22:04:00.003+08:00

i dont spent time with my friends anymore.i dont have time for them anymore.=(

i miss them all. alott !

I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. i'm sorry.

2010-03-05T22:26:00.001+08:00

did i mention that baby got into italent finals!

wwuuuhhhhoo!!!

congrats biee.!heess..

i'll support u alll the wayy no matter whats the outcome..okayy.

love you..

i'll prayy for you.!

2010-03-05T22:20:00.002+08:00

i spentt my dayy veryy wisely.

first two period..gossiping withh fira,umira and selina!coolness.

nextt slackked.since it malay! wth!

nextt hadd great fun with row members..hillarious!talking bout staircase andd all.!ahahs.

reccess.

phy.sleeppy!

SEL=funnn! hadd funn withh fira ,irfan and zuhri..laugh my ass out siaa..they funny!ahahs..stupidd conversationss yet fun!ahahs.

home with huda..

i learned to use the worddd."saaaapppp".

ahahs.

funny.

2010-03-05T22:12:00.004+08:00

Babyy havee been soo swweeet this few datyss.example yesterdayy he send me home despite he need to attent to somethinggg..he still send me!

howw swweeett..you makee me meltt like ice la baby!

sooo days have beennn great..baby is always there for me.evenn just now whenn i felt like cryingg after seeing hilmi.baby was there to likee yeahh comfort me..and i realise that i'm blessed to have him as my boyfriend.

if only he know how much he meann to me.!=)

babyy i love youu very so muchh..life have been great with you!

envy me pls.cause i have the best boyfriend on earth!=)

action sakk farahh.!

2010-03-02T21:48:00.003+08:00

If its done tell me its over.

if its not den stay with me and never let go...

day by day i'm afraid.idk whyy..

its complicated.

too much to bare with.

too muchh to understand.

too much to cope with.

too much!

sometimes i wish i never ...

it feels so strange now..nothing feels right.

i sigh too much..i seldom laugh.

i just wish that light of my life will come back to make me shine once more like it used to.

so near yet so far away.

i miss you.

KAU SAHAJA DIHATI INI.

2010-03-01T21:52:00.003+08:00

26 feb 2010 ~28 febv 2010.

Spendid! raraaaaromaromamagagauuuuulala!

ahahs.

had chalet.brothers birthdayy..it was superr funn !

first night.chilled.

family came cousins ,boyfriend.

saturdayy..parrtttyyy!

nigghtt at around 2am went out to..........and spend time with cousin and baby at the beach!

saw the full moon and i was in baby's arm it was so warmm and romantic.cool or what! i love it alot sia...hmm.

over all cool ahh.reached back at chalet around 4 pluss..

the next dayy havve to wake baby up.

bieee you pehh muke ish rabakk la pagypagy..ahah.

so i woke baby at 6.i didnt sleep tkt overshott.

so yeahh..hmm den woke him read.i went downstairs.wait for himm to siap..den it was only 630am..he sat down the chair.and sleep.

den he came down next to me on the floor and said he wanted to sleep forawhile.so yeahh..it was 7am i woke him..and he woke upp at 730!FISHH.

so he take his stuff and off to bustop i send him.

feelling uhhhh!ahahs.

okayy he went off early due to his performance at vivo.

that afternoon.i went vivo eventhough my body was superr weak.

yeahh..watch him perform with his parents and cousin and aunt.hmm..

after that we ate at banquet.

after that off home.

okayyy i gueesss thats all.summarize my perfect weekend with babylove and my bigfamilyy.
~pictures will be uploaded soon on fb.

2010-02-25T22:30:00.002+08:00

i'm already under so muchh pressure still you wanna do this to me..wth!

just bare with it if i ignored or treat you diffrently now.but if u canntt.up to u...

im so fucked up! and im so streessed up! and i so fuckinggggg wanna cryy nowww!

i hate it!

2010-02-23T22:34:00.005+08:00

nothing feel right now.

happy selalu sekejap...asl sehh aku selalu rase gini.

what is this..

finding fault and in the end just want attentionn fuck sia.

sembarang la farah.i dont understand what u want.go deal with yourself first la..

kau gy pulau kn diri kau dari orgg suddah farah!

haizz..

i'm so emotionally,mentally and physically tired!

i give up.

i dont know y now i tend to be more sensitive..and see you cant handle me.='(

speechless.nothing will ever be right!

i hate it!i hate it! i hate it!

just go away la...

i hate this partt....

i'm sorry.

2010-02-23T22:28:00.002+08:00

my day was spendid!

with fira,farhana,selina,umira and safirahh..coolness.

sadly huda not there...=(

soo detaills tk yg tauu uh..too many things .=)

2010-02-22T22:04:00.002+08:00

School, great!
hmm eventhough i'm like totally sleepy but yeahh great.i guess.
hmm so started the day with taxi fares!fuck.
and yeahh..fuckk 99 buss sio!freaking late!and packed!
so yeahh.den classes was okayy!but den i'm half dead for most of it.hmm...
so p.e was hilarious!
lols.
wanna know why.
hmmm i did my high jump test andd...when i tookk offf...
oooppppsss! i faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrted! oopppppseeyyyy!ahahs.

okayy after that.lesson was hmm.plain.

i love maths!ahahs.stupid things...

i was doing my maths den i got bored cause safirah didnt wanna entertain me.so i sang a SONG!wait no normall song okayy..a holy(nasyid) song.so yeahh.

after that. i was like...saying aalllll vulgarities!oooppps! and safirahh laughed at that and recorded in her DIARY!

ouhh yes i wrote somthing inside too!menyebok kns..ahhas.

okayy after school went with huda so denn we went home!

got changed and off i go.hmm....

i took 99 one round and thats because i do wanna cryy..and when i saw him again i feel like as if my body is too weak to do anything..why must it still be hard!damn it!

soo overalll BABYLOVE I LOVE YOU PRETTY SO MUCHZ!

2010-02-21T22:10:00.001+08:00

[URL=http://s696.photobucket.com/albums/vv321/farahcasper/?action=view¤t=126c3865.pbw][IMG]http://s696.photobucket.com/albums/vv321/farahcasper/th_DSC02271.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

2010-02-21T02:00:00.002+08:00

Biee! you kecohh ahh.

nk buat blogg.ahahs.you niee. cute la..

hahas.ty bsok after kite alik i redo blog kite uhh..now i nye mate pedihh uh..computer bright sngt.tk i lom nantokk la..mate jekk pedihh.tngk screen lame2.

baby! i love you.=)

tak mau tdo lmbat okayy.

2010-02-20T22:27:00.004+08:00

Nothing feels right when i'm not with you.

i've no mood.i'm sad.

i'm sick!

if only i knew the cure.

wait i know whts the cure,its you!yes you love.

i miss you.

i wonder what hav you been up to todayy.haiz..

i need to feel your hands all over me,i need to feel you're kissing me,i need to feel you holding me,i need to feel your touch cause i miss you, love, so much.

and i cant keep on like this ,i need you here with me..

everyday that passes i miss you more and more.

its hard for me to tell you i love you now.

cause i dont know what on you mind and whos in your heart.

2010-02-19T23:52:00.003+08:00

Baby!
kau sexy bodoh! ahahs.
aku jealous.!
kau buat aku irritated bodohh!
tapi aku tetap sayang kau!
sebab kau da ambik hati aku sehh!
mcm ane ni...kau da ambikkk kau kene jage tau biee!
okayy i tauu so bad rite bbl kau .aku.
sorry!

hmm well but seriously biee..whateevr i say to you that may hurt your feelings.

its just the wayy i get your attention..

well after 3 months you passed the test!
did you know that all this while i've been testing you.
okayy wait you didnt pass all the test la but.
the part which i think is the most important one..YOU PASSED~! so i think thats enough..the restt can be improved aites biieee!=)
i loveyou love you!~=)

2010-02-19T23:44:00.002+08:00

19th feb 2010!

events happened.

~3rd month anniversary with babylove.

~daddy's birthday.

~10 month after breaking up with ex-boyfy.

Happy 3rd month baby.

i love you.hope we last long aites baby..

we've talked last night and i love it love ittt!=)

Daddy Happy birthdayy!

may allah bless you always.and i'll always love you dad!

old yet still so young in heart.

hope you'll have fun tmrww! and dont forget to take leave!=)

To dearest ex.

i'm okay now.you're no more in heart.i've moved on ever since you dont care.

i'm okayy!

goodluck in life.

2010-02-18T22:02:00.002+08:00

great day with farhana,fira and safirahh.

you guys make my day babies.

safirah and farhana once again we went to j.p together kecohh pe girls.ahahs.okayy.
how i wish other sisters was theree kans.

weell thanks for trying to stop me from crying at longjohnsilver.ahahs.=)

aku tau mcm baby kan aku..sikit jek nak cry ape ni..ahhas.

okayy.well i totally had so much off funn.laughs.

lets do it again next tyme.hees.

well i llove you girls la.

and mirr.kalau bayyahh mcm tuuh knss aku adee.i'll open my arms and legs wide for you.ahahs.=)

huda...i love you la baby.!and casper jgkk.ahahs.tk ehkk..ooppsss..sowie tadi saye ambik tunang awak jap.tapi dier nye suare nice and dier frenly la..and dier hot la..hees.=)

okayy.i guess thats all i gotta say.

cause i'm heavily broken.

to someone i used to know.

i used to call you love.i used to text you and otp with you.waiting for every single calls and msges but now...

i used to spent most of my time with you.

even how busy i was i'll make it up.i'll try to meet you up.

but now i wannt to say that this time is different.

blame it on me.

it's been so long that i havent see your face,i'm trying to be strong .

wish we never broke up.

mistakes were made between us.

you're my only lover and friend.

i cant lie i miss you much.watching everyday goes by.

i miss your laugh.

you never took the time to know me.

you never took the time to understand.

2010-02-17T21:56:00.003+08:00

LATE!

AMAL KN selalu yerrr biiee...

Dont forget.

somewhere we went wrong.

idk what i'm feeling now.somethings not right...

need to figure it out before its too late.

idk..helphelp!

aku berubahh saat aku kenal dia.bila hati masihh sayang kau tk hiraukn.bila aku tak baik untukmu kau kejar aku.bila aku pilih dia kau kembali tuk mendapatkn cinta ku,terkadang aku menyesal pilihh dia kerna bila cintamu masih untuk ku ragu.jika hanya kau cepat takkn ku bersamanya..

tapi tk aku kesali dngn keputusan ini.kerna ini semua pilihan aku.

jangan tanya tetang janji dan sumpah setiaku kerna itu semua tak kau hiraukn suatu ketika dahulu.

jangan kata aku curang kerna kau pun sama.

jangan kata aku biar dirimu kerna aku tk biar dirimu.tapi aku cuba memberimu waktu tapi yang ku dpt hanya kekecewaaan akhirnya.

jadi jangan salahkn aku berubahh begini.kerna ini salahmu..tidak ada bila aku perlukn.

mungkin hanya satu yang bisa ku katakn..mungkin suatu hari kau dan aku akan mengerti berapa pentingnya kita untuk diri masingmasing.

takkan ku ganggu dirimu..

to love.

what i'm no more in your life.?

will you still sayy that i'll still be your girlfriend forever?

or maybe you'll just packup and move on.?

and will you spent months just to forget me?or a day is enough?

will you still remember my favourite color,food.places i'll go when i wanna cry.which side you should be standing when you're with me.will you remember all that.

okayy you dont have to answer all that but one thing i wanna know will you ever forget how to handle me and will you ever get bored being with me..?

i'll never that person ,i'll neveer be as amazing as her,i'll never be like herr cause i cant be her ,i'm always me and i cant change that...

i love you.

2010-02-17T21:53:00.001+08:00

Another great day in school.

i feel much better when i'm with them cause i'll tend to forget all my problems.

i love you friends.

2010-02-16T20:59:00.003+08:00

who says i'm gonna stop and just give up.

i tried so many things just too make you hate and leave.

well my actuall excuse is.

cause you treat me too well.and i dont think i deserve it.so picking up fights is what i do to make you hate me but you didnt walk away at all....but you came to me and talk things out,raising your voice,forcing me to look in your eyes..just to make things workk..

i'm really am so touched.

and now i'm really sure of what i want.

it have been almost 3 days not hearing your voice and not meeting you...imy like mad.

nothing feels right when i'm not with you.i miss you.i need you.

2010-02-16T20:43:00.002+08:00

well saturdayy was great untill.

hmm okayy went out at around 1 pluss..

went to love place.well hmmm...since he asked tto.okayy reached there.

his parents and sister okayy..i felt so extra..!i mean serious! extra sakk..ahahs.okayy den talked.and all...love is so irritating at first playy the KEYBOARD thingy.SO TRYING TO GET ATTAENTION padahall org ngah watch tv.ahahs.diam!okayy..

after that.we played BINGO!omgg i sungguh bodoh tk tau mainn!lols.i cume know how to playy uno and monopoly larrxxx!ahha.but i did managed to playy.ahahs.funny...okayy diamm.mcm sungguh gembire!okayy den love go and siapp.

punye lame!kalahh pompann.

love dad also say.

ty da besar.let me be the guyy ,love be the girll.

ahahs

sungguh btoll.diam!

hmm.jadi house husband sudahh kau!aahahs.

okayy den off we go out.love mmng irritating cnnt make up the mind nk gy ane cann imagine da naikk trainn den trn alik boonlayy bikin aku sort jek tau.ahas.after that eat at longjohnn denn meet his sis.den off we took train againn off to harborfrontt wanna go sentosa.okayy.

den blablabla..aku gado nan love.fuck sia!hmm.

den mcm cite hindstan pon ade ahh.ahahs.diamm.but in the baikk jgkk..aku suke ending dieer.hees.diam!okayy den alikk took cabb.hmm .

love tepoktepok aku sampai aku tetdo..aahah.btolbtoll mcm baby sakk aku..k diam!

well over all its great la kns get to spent tyme with love,fight with him and spent tyme with his family.=)

2010-02-16T20:33:00.002+08:00

friday,saturday,sunday,monday & tuesday.

its been a greatt day.

fridayy as u guys know that i went out with sisters,after like so longg we didnt meet.okay actually its to celebrate someone advance b'dae la kns..okay.so yeahh hu else id not that minahhrepp!ahahs.okayy.ala sape ehkk si casper punyaa ehkk.oopsss tk ehkk.ahahs.

hmm okayy well.its obvious la huda!hees.okayy soo best kns kene cheatt.ahahs.

hmm well potentiall liarr la aku ni..i meann..yeahh.ahahs.so yeahh did enjoyy the moments la knss.home at around 9 mom didnt nagg.thankgod.ahahs.

okayy.

saturdaayy followed baby..okayy this will be elaborated in the next post.saba ehkk..

sundayy i exercise!yeahhh.ahahs.and i saw...wth! hmm okayy..

mondayy and tuesdayy..went around singapore and shoppshopshopp!heees.well its greatt la knss..tuhhh have parents not working during cny holidayss but the sad thing is i cant meet my babyboo!='(

i miss you sehh biee...

2010-02-11T23:00:00.003+08:00

Lagyy sekali babyy saya aliikkk lmbt..haiz..saya da rindu la walaupun tadi dapat jumpe sekejap.

awak tak mau la alik lmbt yerr..saya worry tau.saya sedang wait for awak.=(

aku tauu aku manje.daim!=)

2010-02-11T22:53:00.002+08:00

I cant wait for tomorrow and saturday!

I HOPE IT WILL BE FUNN!

Wait its obvious la it will be funn spending time with love once.

i cant wait babies.!

it have been such along time knss..

tmmrw:short dress,jacket,palm shoes,cute bra.lols.